As the resident degenerate gambler and betting expert at Colder By The Lakz I have decided to give you my sage advice on this weekends NFL Playoff games. All lines and over/unders are as of January 5th. So empty your bank accounts, borrow heavily against any assets you own, pilfer your grandmas spare change off her dresser, cash in your 401k, and sell off your investments like you’re Goldman Sachs dumping junk bonds and subprime mortgages onto the market and put all that money on these picks, THEY ARE LOCKS!!!! Here we go…..
Cincinnati Bengals at Houston Texans
Early Game Saturday
Line: Texans -3
Over/Under: 38 ½
The Bengals are frauds; they haven’t beaten a good team all year and lost to the Texans by one at home already this season (week 14). I like the Texans in this game giving the 3 points, even if Jake Delhomme has to play, they have been hit hard with injuries all year but were able to keep it going and get the #4 seed in the AFC. The Texans have the best running back duo in football in Arian Foster and Ben Tate and Andre Johnson is at least healthy enough to play against an injured Bengals secondary, Johnson at 70% is still better than most of the WR in the league at 100%. The Texans rank in the top 5 in defense against the rush and pass and should be able to keep the Red Rifle’s offense in check.
Picks: TEXANS -3 and UNDER 38 ½
Detroit Lions at New Orleans Saints
Late Game Saturday
Line: Saints -11
Depending where you go the line on this is anywhere from -10 to -11, but I am seeing a majority of -11’s and the over/under is anywhere from 58-59 with 59 being the most common. Again I like to give the points and take the home team with the Saints and I also like the under. Both teams offenses were explosive last week and both teams defense don’t look like they can stop intramural flag football teams offense right now, but 59 is a lot of points and I think this is one of those games where Hurricane Katrina, err I mean the Saints, rally together and put a complete game together offensively and defensively and keep the Lions from doing a whole lot. I just can’t bet against Drew Brees at home in the dome against a young and undisciplined Lions team who if they get down or face adversity early will likely pack it in and start looking to injure guys rather than win the game. Oh, and the Saints already beat the Lions by 14 in the dome in week 13.
Picks: SAINTS -11 and UNDER 59
Atlanta Falcons at New York Giants
Early Game Sunday
Over/Under: 47 ½
Two of the more Jekyll and Hyde teams of the season face off in a game where just about any outcome isn’t going to surprise me. These two teams are hard to figure out, the Falcons absolutely kill bad teams and then when a big game comes they seem to stay in it for a while then the wheels fall off. The Falcons two best wins this year were a week 2 win over a crappy Eagles team and a week 7 win over the Lions. Other than those two games, they have beaten nobody. The Giants had another typical Giants season, they lost some games to crappy teams (Redskins twice), Tom Coughlin was about to be run out of town for the 1,992 time, they went on a late season losing streak that put their postseason hopes in jeopardy, but just as it is darkest before dawn the Giants rose from the ashes like they always do and won 3 of their last 4 games to win the NFC East and have us believing they are a good team again. Eli Manning was probably the 3rd best quarterback in football this year only behind Aaron Rodgers and Drew Brees, their defense is getting healthy and they can send all sorts of rushes at the opposing team (the Falcons o-line is awful). I like to give the points and take the Giants here and also like the over. I think Eli has a big game and the Falcons get down by double digits late and score a meaningless touchdown in the 4th quarter to put the game over, but still have the Giants cover.
Picks: GIANTS -3 and OVER 47 ½
Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos
Late Game Sunday
Line: Steelers -9
Over/Under: 33 ½
The Steelers are banged up, Big Ben is playing with what looks like 5 injuries and Polio and it will probably come out he was hiding and playing with more injuries during the season than we currently know about, Rashard Mendenhall just tore his ACL/MCL, and Ryan Clark can’t travel to Denver due to a sickle cell disease that doesn’t allow him to play at high altitudes. So the Steelers have that going for them, but I just can’t get behind Tim Tebow anymore. Tebow has looked beyond awful the last 3 weeks and the Broncos defense looks tired, slow, and worn out after having to be on the field so much during the regular season since Tebow can’t seem to keep the offense on the field. Tebow still hasn’t beat a good team this year, his best win was either against a Jets team that had more issues to deal with during the season that a Rex Ryan foot fetish video is number 55 on the list or the Chargers, who they needed to go to OT and have their kicker miss a field goal because he had to piss on the sidelines. The only two good teams Tebow has started against all year were the Lions and Patriots and the Broncos lost to them by a combined score of 85-24 in those two games. So for however banged up the Steelers are I like them to cover this one easily and win by two or three scores.
Picks: STEELERS -9 and OVER 33 ½
My favorite picks are Steelers -9, Giants -3, Texans -3, and Under in the Saints/Lions game. Put those together in a 4 pick parlay and be rewarded handsomely.
– TYLER FREE